Archive for the ‘Found’ category

Amazon Attack: An Aggregation of User Comments Found While Comparison Shopping for Nunchucks

September 14, 2010

I purchased these for my nephew and he absolutely loves them. The quality was nice and he said they did not hurt to bad on the misses.

i am a new to nunchaku and like an idiot got hard core steel ones and almost killed my self. i am looking forward to learning with these padded ones.

make sure you know that this is a weapon and could hurt someone

perfect for practicing any tricks whatsoever

i think it was better safe than sorry, and start him off with soft nunchucks.

After a couple of months of practicing you’ll be able to use the wooden or metal nun chucks with ease. & you’ll be able to fight crime just like your fellow police officers >:D [Ed: Reading this comment in its entirety makes it no more clear whether the commenter is an an anarchist/separatist-type, the “fellow police officers” bit being an ironic aside, or an aspirant law enforcement officer laboring under some serious misapprehensions.]

[Commenter’s son] learned how to use nunchuks by building his own with empty paper towel rolls and string. So by the time he got these he could control them.

BONUS: Comments Found Upon Checking Out ‘Game of Death Kill Bill Bruce Lee Jumpsuit Costume’ from the ‘Customers who viewed this item also viewed’ Menu

damn this thing is small

The zipper is tiny and almost impossible to pull up without the help of a second person. So have fun using the restroom

For Americans they need to go up to about a size XXXL at least.

I bought a Large version, because the mensurations wrote on the picture “mensuration table” are the same as my body

REALLY SMALL! I ordered a size XL. I am 5′ 10″ & 175 lbs with a 34″ waist. [?]

The crotch: nut huggers.

I gave 5 Stars, because the service was really good and, despite it run a little bit small, it’s so fun to play as Bruce Lee! Bowhaaaaa!


Amazon Attack: Ten Hostile User Comments Concerning DO-IT-YOURSELF COFFINS: FOR PETS AND PEOPLE by Dale Power

September 2, 2010

As a person who designs and builds fine, handcrafted coffins, I was disappointed in the level of how-to information presented as well as the quality and appearance of the finished products.

I have built one of the coffins following the directions in the book. Some measurements are missing, and some are not correct. This cost me in materials and time. Beware!

Anyone with any woodworking skill at all will cringe at the drawings and poor quality of the measurements.

We make our living from woodworking and the techniques in this book are better suited to junior high school shop class.

Bury the book

As with the majority who have rated this book so far — this book deserves a quick death.


the title says “coffins” but it only offers one coffin to build (badly).

I have the feeling that the guy who gave this book 5 stars is either related to the author or I can picture him trying to turn on his table saw through his straight jacket.

The craftsmanship is poor at best and the execution of this “toe pincher” coffin is every synonym of awkward that I could find on thesaurus. com “all thumbs, amateurish, artless, blundering, bulky, bumbling, bungling, butterfingers, coarse, floundering, gawky, graceless, green*, having two left feet, having two left hands, incompetent, inept, inexpert, klutzy, lumbering, maladroit, oafish, rude, stiff, stumbling, uncoordinated, uncouth, unfit, ungainly, ungraceful, unhandy, unpolished, unrefined, unskilled, unskillful “.


Summertime Tundras: It’s a Link Post

July 12, 2010


At io9: saying goodbye to Party Down with a Martin Starr highlight reel.

Norwegian alt-cartoonist Jason has a blog! Check out Cats Without Dogs.

Zom of Mindless Ones works toward a definition of ‘pop crime’ [for Batman nerds only].

A glimpse of Tommy Wiseau’s newest project (‘The House That Dripped Blood on Alex’!?) is available at Videogum, and it looks appropriately nuts.

Golden Age Comic Book stories, which regularly provides samples of great-looking mid-20th century pop miscellany that more often than not aren’t actually comics-related, recently put up a host of pretty rad vintage b-movie posters:

And finally, from The Awl: The 45 Greatest Teen [Lit] Titles You Have Never Heard of From the Era When They All Mentioned “I,” “Me,” “You” or Some Other Key Person That Are Not ‘Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret’

The Armpit Where Art and Commerce Meet: It’s a Link Post

June 14, 2010

David Byrne’s recent TEDTalk (embedded at Stereogum) examines how physical space has historically informed the ways music is composed (and later, recorded), but it’s really worth watching to hear Byrne crack himself up after making a joke about Bob Dylan a few minutes in.

Is Jeffrey Brown comics’ perfect gateway artist? Gene Kogan thinks so.

Laura Miller of The New Yorker assesses the recent crop of dystopian-future teen lit, and rudely omits my self-published Half-Android Half-Cheerleader.

At the Awl, Dave Bry ponders the use of being angry about the Absolut vodka ad featuring Joy Division/New Order’s “Ceremony”–which is pretty crass, and I’m not gonna embed the video, but maybe it’s best to just think back to a time when Absolut was responsible for the best commercials ever:


Iron Baby, Baby Gaga, and the Importance of High Production Values When Exploiting Your Child

June 11, 2010

Earlier in the week, I found myself describing to a friend the one and only time I attended a casting call. I was in first grade, and one of dozens of pale, dark-haired boys brought to the Mall of America to be considered for a bit part as the young Keanu Reeves in the mid-’90s rom-com Feeling Minnesota. My parents are level-headed people, and the trip was intended to be little more than a lark–had I actually been offered the part, a move to California in search of further fame would most likely not have followed. All the same, I’m glad it didn’t happen, even if no one remembers Feeling Minnesota anyway.


Match the Song with the YouTube User Comment

May 21, 2010

1. The Misfits – “Where Eagles Dare”
2. Justin Bieber feat. Ludacris – “Baby”
3. The Sundays – “Summertime”
4. Rihanna – “Shut Up and Drive”
5. Oasis – “Don’t Look Back in Anger”


Answers in the comments

Protoblog: Clowns IRL

May 14, 2010

Although I conceived Malapropist largely as a venue for film, comic book, and music writing, it will periodically host advance looks at other blogs of mine still in development–what I hope will eventually be the component parts of a larger blog network. Clowns In Real Life is the first and only photoblog devoted to what clowns do when they’re not performing. Think Us Weekly‘s ‘Just Like Us’ meets Look at this fucking hipster, but with clowns.

Post #1 – Subway Clown

Whew! Time to take a load off. Get me outta these clown shoes!

Post #2 – Water Fountain Clown

Slurrrrp! Clown or no clown, this water is very refreshing.

Post #3 – Joy Ride Clown

Get that camera outta here! Can't a clown take a joy ride!?